Jump to content

Change
Photo

can u make us laugh? hehe

- - - - -

  • Please log in to reply
46 replies to this topic

#1
writersfreedom

writersfreedom

    The Beauty and The Prince

  • Super Moderators
  • 5,369 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In My Husband's Heart

Current mood: Cheerful
so we each post wut we think to b the funniest joke :D
and c who can get more laughs :P
we can all post as many jokes as we want but dnt post them all in one post :P :D

here's the first joke :D

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what should he do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde. I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York." hahahaha :D


okay now ur turn :D

  • arabian belly dancer and SilverMoon like this
What can my enemies possibly do to me? My paradise is in my heart; wherever I go it goes with me, insepa­rable from me. For me, prison is a place of (religious) retreat; ex­ecution is my opportunity for martyrdom; and exile from my town is but a chance to travel ......

Posted Image

#2
writersfreedom

writersfreedom

    The Beauty and The Prince

  • Super Moderators
  • 5,369 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In My Husband's Heart

Current mood: Cheerful
hmm so u guys dnt kno any good jokes? :P
well then here's another one: :D

Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?

Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.




Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?

Funny Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent !



hahahahaha :D

  • arabian belly dancer and SilverMoon like this

#3
Uncle S

Uncle S
  • Members
  • 26 posts
  • Location:Dzair

Current mood:
Excellent jokes sister.

mashallah you are very funny.

#4
algerian3awawa

algerian3awawa
  • Girls
  • 527 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Ontario, Canada

Current mood: Cold
hahaha good one WF
the 1st one reminds me of one that i knew hehe

alright let me try


so one day 3 guys were standing around and they noticed that there was this hole in the ground and everytime a car passes buy it, it flips and the people have to be taken to the hospital
so the 1st guy was like hey guys i have an idea why dont we try to find a solution for this situation
and he said ok i have an idea y don't we cover the hole with wood

the 2nd guy told him pshhh u'r an idiot the wood will break and the people will still have a long way to go before they reach a hospital..we will build a hospital near the hole so when the people fall the hospital will be near by
well the 3rd person decided they were all idiots and his plan was to cover the hole up fully with cement and just build a hole near the hospital lol

Posted Image

..smile wen u can..it's cheap medicine..



#5
Lilia

Lilia

    Lilia

  • Super Moderators
  • 1,507 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In the clouds

Current mood: Cloud 9 Contributor
hahaha good ones guys :laughing:
i was never good at retainning jokes but her's one:


Cindy McCain was in her front yard watering her roses when John McCain came out of the house and rushed straight to the mailbox, opened it, looked in,then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.

As Cindy was getting ready to prune the roses, John came back out to the mailbox, opened it, felt all the way to the back,and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her husband’s actions Cindy asked him, “Is something wrong honey?”

To which he replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL.”

Posted Image

#6
writersfreedom

writersfreedom

    The Beauty and The Prince

  • Super Moderators
  • 5,369 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In My Husband's Heart

Current mood: Cheerful
hahahaha good jokes u guys ^_^

well my friend just e-mailed me this joke so I wanna share it with u guys :D although it's a bit long but I thought it was funny :D


An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
He replied, "To the kitchen."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
"No, I can remember that."
"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said.
"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He went into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."

hehehehehehe :D

  • arabian belly dancer and SilverMoon like this

#7
demi

demi
  • Moderators
  • 1,385 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Germany

Current mood:
I know it is not the best joke I am posting now , but at the moment I have only this one :D :D


A blonde went to a shop and wanted to buy a mobile.
The vendor told her: we dont sell anything to blondes!!!.
The blonde was sad. So she took a black painting and draw her hair black and went next day to the same shop again.
She asked again for buying a mobile. But the answer was again : we dont sell anything for blondes!!! .
The blonde was estonished and asked : how did you recognize that I am blonde, even I drew my hair to black ??!!.
The vendor told her : Because we dont sell mobiles, we only sell coffee.



:D

#8
Ansar

Ansar
  • Members
  • 68 posts
  • Gender:Male

Current mood: Elated
Girl: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.

Boy: Y?

Girl: Got upper berth.

Boy: Y did'nt u Xchnged?

Girl: Buddy, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth.. :laughing:
Ansar

#9
Ansar

Ansar
  • Members
  • 68 posts
  • Gender:Male

Current mood: Elated
Dolly had twins; She named them Tin Martin.

Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.

again twins & named Max & Climax.

Again d same. disgusted Dolly named them TIRED&RETIRED! :P

#10
Ansar

Ansar
  • Members
  • 68 posts
  • Gender:Male

Current mood: Elated
Girl at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what

you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon Mem, that's a mirror!

--------------------x---------------------

Sorry Girls its just a joke...... :wub:

#11
Uncle S

Uncle S
  • Members
  • 26 posts
  • Location:Dzair

Current mood:

Girl: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.

Boy: Y?

Girl: Got upper berth.

Boy: Y did'nt u Xchnged?

Girl: Buddy, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth.. :laughing:


I don't understand, and I know I'm not the one with the intellectual disability.

PS: A mod can merge my two posts if they want.

#12
- Mohammed

- Mohammed
  • Members
  • 496 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:UK

Current mood:
Girls says she hasnt slept all night in the train.

Boy asks why

Girls says its because she is sleeping on the top bunk (bed)

Boy says why didnt you exchange

Girl says there was nobody on the lower bunk to exchange with

in other words .. the bottom bunk was empty all that time, and she didnt sleep there cause there was nobody to exchange with.
A day spent without learning is a day wasted

#13
^_^Chaouia^_^

^_^Chaouia^_^
  • Girls
  • 3,647 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Tkout,Algeria - Edmonton, Alberta

Current mood: Woot!
ok nice,, but honestly i did not understand ansar your first 2 jokes,,, and my english is very well.. sorry but can you please rewrite them so they are a bit more clear
TamattuT nnegh machi ghir i waghrom
Tattali zang u yis wa Traffed' agastur."
The shawi woman isn't just for house work
She rides the horse and carries a sword.

#14
writersfreedom

writersfreedom

    The Beauty and The Prince

  • Super Moderators
  • 5,369 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In My Husband's Heart

Current mood: Cheerful
thnx Toz 4 explainin that joke cuz at first I didnt get it either :D


well here's another joke :D

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I''ve come to activate your phone lines."


hahahaha :D

  • arabian belly dancer and SilverMoon like this

#15
Ansar

Ansar
  • Members
  • 68 posts
  • Gender:Male

Current mood: Elated
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket

How is that you can fly so fast?

The Rocket replies you will know the pain

when they put fire at your back! :blowup:

-----------------------**-------------------

Y do couples hold hands during their wedding?

It?s a formality just like two boxers
shaking hands before the fight begins! :boxing:

#16
SilverMoon

SilverMoon
  • Girls
  • 19 posts
  • Location:NoWhere

Current mood:
good idea writersfreedom smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />
lol good ones you guys ^_^

here's my joke :D

A mother was ironing the clean laundry one day. Her son asked her, "Mother, why are you ironing those clothes?"

His mother said, "To make them nice and wrinkle free."

Her son said, "Then, why don't you iron Grandma's face?


p.s: I think everyone should write using colours :P it's more cheerful :D

  • arabian belly dancer likes this
Life is what you make out of it ...

#17
shadia

shadia
  • Girls
  • 5 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New York

Current mood:
those are some funny jokes smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />

#18
writersfreedom

writersfreedom

    The Beauty and The Prince

  • Super Moderators
  • 5,369 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In My Husband's Heart

Current mood: Cheerful
okay this one is a bit long but I played it with my friends & we had some good laughs :D but u guys have to play with me for the joke to go on. :P

u & ur friends go campin one day then it starts rainin so u guys enter a house on top of the hill. After u get inside u realize that the house is haunted & the power is out :o but the doors get locked behind u so u cant get out :mellow: . each one of u is lookin for a way out. Now u find 3 doors, one has a tree, the other has a circle & the 3rd has a heart.
which one do u go through?





p.s: after u answer wait 4 me 2 ask the 2nd question cuz that's hw the game goes. :P :D

  • arabian belly dancer and SilverMoon like this

#19
Lilia

Lilia

    Lilia

  • Super Moderators
  • 1,507 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In the clouds

Current mood: Cloud 9 Contributor
didn't u say the doors were ALL locked :huh: .. i sense a trick in this :sly: but i'll play along :D
i choose the door with the tree on it


#20
writersfreedom

writersfreedom

    The Beauty and The Prince

  • Super Moderators
  • 5,369 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:In My Husband's Heart

Current mood: Cheerful

didn't u say the doors were ALL locked :huh: .. i sense a trick in this :sly: but i'll play along :D
i choose the door with the tree on it

well thnx for playin sis smile

yea but I said the doors behind them were locked which means no way out but the rooms inside the house rnt locked hehehe :D

now u open the door with the tree on it & u find 4 keyes ...in 4 clours blue,red, green & black..which one do u take? :D


  • arabian belly dancer and SilverMoon like this