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10 Ways to be a failure in everything - for Algerians

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#1
Fatony

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When I read this, I thought wait a second! each of these steps is being carried out by every Algerian in Algeria. Seriously!
I hope you find it funny too.


10 Ways how to fail in life:

1. Chase Other People’s Dreams
The best way to be a complete failure is to get your definition of success utterly wrong from the start. Base your dreams on those your parents have for you, or on your friends’ ambitions. Decide that you, too, should want a 6 figure salary (even if it means working 14 hour days). If you’re really lucky, you’ll meet your goal – and then you’ll realise that it means nothing to you. After years of hard work, you’ll still have failed. Clever you.

2. Start 17 Projects, Finish None
If you want to be a failure, get great at starting things. An idea hits (“I’ll start a blog about making money on the internet?”) You jump straight into it. Two days later, you’re bored. Another idea hits (“I’ll take up martial arts and become a black-belt!”) You get lessons. A week later, another idea hits (“I could play guitar in a rock band!”) You buy all the equipment. ... Are you seeing a pattern? One great way to fail to ever meet your goal is to keep starting on new ones.

3. Give Up When It Gets Tough
Most long-term goals have their tough patches. Sure, it’s easy going at first, when your motivation is running high. But pretty soon, you’ll get bored, or tired, or fed-up. If you want to be a complete failure, that first period of discomfort is the time to quit. Don’t ever try to see something through to the end. It’s just too much work.

4. Persist At All Costs
Of course, there’s a more spectacular way to fail than by flaking out early on. Once you’ve started something, don’t even consider giving up. Your business has been floundering for months? Borrow more money to keep it afloat. You’re writing a novel that bores you to tears? Don’t give it – see it through to the bitter end. Rejected a dozen times by the girl/guy you’ve been asking out? Keep pestering them. You’re no quitter. (Though you’re well on the way to having a breakdown.)

5. Never Ask For Help
To be a failure, you have to insist on doing everything alone. Don’t ask for help. Struggle on with a far too heavy workload, because “if you want a job doing right, you have to do it yourself.” You should never admit to anything that smacks of weakness. And, of course, you wouldn’t dream of asking for directions.

6. Trample On Other People
One great way to fail in many areas, from relationships to friendships to work, is to treat other people like scum. If they’re in the way of your goal, step right on top of them. If they ask you for anything, refuse point-blank. If they make a mistake, scream at them. If they disagree with you, sulk for a week. To really fail in life, you need to alienate everyone who might help, support or care about you.

7. Never Say No
If you’re a bit too touchy-feely to crush heads underfoot on your descent into failure, then try this method instead: always say “yes” to whatever you’re asked to do. Your kid wants a present you can’t afford? Put it on your credit card. Your boss asks you to stay late and work Saturday? Be a martyr. Your community association needs a new secretary and they think you might like the job? Sure, you’ll do it. In fact, the only things you’ll say “no” to are your own hopes and dreams.

8. Be Disorganized
To increase your chances of failure in any venture, make sure you’re as disorganised about it as possible. Forget to invoice people who owe you money. Lose important documents. Turn up late, or in the wrong place, or ideally both. Don’t bother keeping a diary or calendar. Make sure you never have any healthy food in the house, so you can resort to expensive and greasy takeouts yet again.

9. Stay In Your Comfort Zone
If you ever get the opportunity to do something new, avoid it at all costs. New things are often scary – and scary is no fun at all, right? Stay right inside your cosy comfort zone, and never stretch or challenge yourself. A big part of being a complete failure is making sure you never have the chance to realise what your full potential is ... let alone reach it.

10. Procrastinate
My final tip, before you get started on your lifetime of complete and utter failure, is to procrastinate. Put everything off till the last minute ... then put it off a bit longer. Not only will you fail (your report/essay/tax return will be crap), you’ll also make yourself feel stressed. Your procrastination techniques should be things that hold no real interest for you – silly online games, rearranging the jars in the kitchen cupboard, watching paint dry ... That way, you’ll fail to accomplish anything and you’ll fail to have any fun. Make sure you add in a good dose of guilt, too.


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#2
Beebo

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Great tips. Love them all and it has Algerian written all over it. I think we should move it to Life section and pin it

WgxUpZ6.png


#3
wise-man001

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salam

That's a great list bro, it may be useful to avoid being a failure, however, considering the fourth habit on the list; "Persist At All Costs", how could we determine whether the price to achieve a goal is too high and that we should give up on it or whether we still have to wait and persist and be patient because the cost of a noble goal is always high and because persistence is the key for ultimate success. So, could you clarify out the frontier between perseverance and stubbornness

When I read this, I thought wait a second! each of these steps is being carried out by every Algerian in Algeria.


mmm, does this apply only for Algerians living in Algeria, :think:, some people may be offended by this bro.
salam
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#4
Fatony

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wiseman. Regarding point no.4. You need to apply abit of gutt feeling. If your business is failing, and you have tried everything possible to keep it afloat, then there is no point in hanging in there and throwing deadmoney at it. It's better sometimes to walk away, and Allah swt will give you a better source of income. Like WF once posted in one of her posts: A life without regrets is not a life worth living.

This example applies specifically to a business venture.. If you have noble goals in mind, then yes indeed you stick in there regardless. Strong belief/great support/lots of patience always gets you to that ultimate goal.

Stubborness is a completely different thing. If you chose not to listen to experienced people who have been through what you're about to go through then yes you are a stubborn person who is heading for a disaster.

Does this thread apply to only people living in algeria? no... To every other Algerian who does not have ambition in life. Offended? why should you be. I am already having issues with No.2 and 8... The reason i posted this is because you can use this topic for your benefit. which you are already doing.
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#5
wise-man001

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wiseman. Regarding point no.4. You need to apply abit of gutt feeling. If your business is failing, and you have tried everything possible to keep it afloat, then there is no point in hanging in there and throwing deadmoney at it. It's better sometimes to walk away, and Allah swt will give you a better source of income. Like WF once posted in one of her posts: A life without regrets is not a life worth living.

This example applies specifically to a business venture.. If you have noble goals in mind, then yes indeed you stick in there regardless. Strong belief/great support/lots of patience always gets you to that ultimate goal.

Stubborness is a completely different thing. If you chose not to listen to experienced people who have been through what you're about to go through then yes you are a stubborn person who is heading for a disaster.


Indeed Fatony, that's a wise answer from a wise man ;) furthermore, perseverance is also being flexible regarding the methods used for solving our problems and knowing how and when to change how we approach our goals and not to be rigid and stubborn by sticking to the old methods that may have been proven to be ineffective.

#6
Fatony

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We Algerians are no.1 at that. Sticking to old useless methods and still think we are in the right. Our country is way behind in technology, medicine, education, finance and everything else. Even following basic instructions i.e. international regs for biometric passports; we cannot do that right!