How are you doing guys? I hope you're doing well.
The other day, I got into this super gloomy mood, you don't want to know how depressed n frustrated I was, the reason to that is this: you know when you dream of what you want to be when you're all grown up n having a future n a family etc.. I always imagined I would be a person that would always do the right thing no matter what n since I will be a Lawyer I thought I'd be one of those people who stand in the parliament n defend the people n stand for what i believe in, n I was even thinking of majoring in human rights.
One day I read writersfreedom's signature :
What can my enemies possibly do to me? My paradise is in my heart; wherever I go it goes with me, inseparable from me. For me, prison is a place of (religious) retreat; execution is my opportunity for martyrdom; and exile from my town is but a chance to travel ......
n I was like Yeahh!! what can my enemies do to me!, I would love it if they killed me cause I will be a Shahida, n I don't mind a prison, n I have many places to see if i was exiled, but with the recent events I started seeing those horrible scenes of torture, n listening to the horrible stories of the syrian army n (el shabe7a), n for the first time I started questioning myself, am I really willing to do what is right? no matter what? I know many of you reading are thinking of what a chicken I am, but seriously, when you hear about that Iraqi journalist n how brutally he was tortured by a bunch of british soldiers, n how people in Syria are found electrocuted n stabbed all over their bodies, if I was in their position I really don't know if I would stand strong or just surrender, can I handle pain n suffering?... I'm freaking terrified of needles are you kidding me??!
N okay for you courageous people, what if the enemies had a member of your family? I mean I heard the story of that syrian man that (el shabi7a) took his 4 year old son as a hostage, n guess what they didn't just take him, they tortured him!! I mean these people are ruthless, they would do anything to get what they want.
Watching the Syrians protesting day after day knowing they just might be killed today, I feel so ashamed of myself n how fear has gotten me, but I can't help it..
So here I am questioning myself again, am I willing to do the right thing?, more importantly are you willing to do the right thing?